The Electric Telegraph:A Revolutionary Invention
Start blogging by creating a new post. You can edit or delete me by clicking under the comments. You can also customize your sidebar by dragging in elements from the top bar.
Sunderland-Polished Draft

Real nice draft. Lots of good stuff here. Some suggestions:

-Thesis needs to include reaction & reform parts

-Make sure all images have captions that indicate significance of image

-Simply put "by" rather than "this website created by"

-Use "back to" and "next to" rather than "go to" because "go" doesn't clearly indicate sequence of pages.

-Each page should have a meaningful title and topic sentence.

-Too texty. You really don't bullet. Rather you put bullet in front of complete sentences. Only complete sentences should be thesis and page topic sentences. The rest of your writing should be phrases and bulleted.

-I like changing font color and large font size. Font size is actually a bit too big.

-"inventions" too vague. Make a more meaningful subtitle.

Overall, very nice draft. Well done: 46/50


Nice job. Good segmentation and thorough argument. Reaction part not explicitly integrated into thesis. Color scheme sometimes hard to read. However, a nice job.


Ryan Sampson

I am doing a history fair project on Samuel Morse right now, and stumbled upon this, fun to see another project on the same subject.


Leave a Reply.


    Hi Mr. Sunderland!  Welcome to our website.  Please give us as much feedback or advice as possible. Thanks. :)


    May 2010



    RSS Feed